AAARRGGGHHH!!!!

I'M SO ANGRY!!! I'm just about pissed off at everything and everyone right about now. The world is screwed, I'm screwed, everyone is screwed.
I hate every single one of those girls at ballet, I swear they are the dumbest people I have ever met. I couldn't care less if they all dropped dead. Such idiots!!!!!!


And why? Why does everything always happen to me? How is this fair? ITS NOT!!!!!!! ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!
Why do I spend my whole life wishing, wanting, waiting to go to Russia, and the the chance comes, and I can't go? Why do friends of mine get to go when they don't even want to, don't speak the language, and don't even care?! ITS NOT F@#%^ FAIR!!!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!!

Why can I never be the perfect ballerina that I have always dreamed of? How is it fair that I spend my whole life working to be a professional dancer, then everything gets cut away? Why can't I dance like Gillian Murphy? Yuka Ino? Julie Kent? Allison Roper? WHY???? Why don't I have the perfect feet, perfect turnout, perfect body? ITS NOT MY F@*%ING FAULT I'M NOT BUILT LIKE THE IDEAL BALLERINA!!!!! BUT WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT BODY? HER FEET? WHHHYYYY?!?!?!?!

Why do I have to give up everything I have ever worked for? All I have ever wanted was to be a prima ballerina. That's all I have ever known, all I have worked for, everything I want to become. For me to throw that all away right now would be waste, right? SO why do I need to give it up to You?? I'm not letting go. Don't You see how tightly my hands are wrapped around this? Do You not see my dreams? My goals? My ambitions? Do You not see how much I want this? Do You not see how hard this is? Do You not see these tears? This anger? This hurt? Do You not see how broken I am? Do You even care??


I am so fed up with everything! To hell with it all.




Nothing ever goes right. All I want right now is for something to go right.

And you wanna know a secret? All I want is to be hugged. That's it. I don't care about anything else, I just long for someone to hold onto me, letting me cry on their shoulder, telling me things will be okay. I know that sounds childish, but I just want someone to hold me.


*Sigh*
Good luck with that ever happening.