You are an Awesome God
Your perfect orchestration of life amazes me
The way You bring us closer into You
To know Your perfect
love
forgiveness
grace
You are an Awesome God
We sing praises to our King for all that You do!
The way You
mold us
shape us
love us
You are an Awesome God!
For the indescribable wonders of our Father
We come
Your servants
To praise you, with thankfulness and joy
For You are an Awesome God
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
1 Timothy 6:6
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
I love how this verse says that we will be content with such things, rather than happy. Being content and being happy are two totally different things. When we are content with something, we are satisfied. I looked up the definition of content, and this is what it says :
Content--"Satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else."
I love how it says that when we are content--satisfied--we aren't wanting anything else. Happiness is more of an emotion - joy is an attitude.We are filled more with joy through the Spirit rather than happiness, and that is why we can "consider it pure joy when we go through trials of many kinds."
Also, note the fruits of the Spirit:
Galatians 5:22
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
See? It says nothing about being happy, but having joy. You look at storeis of people in the Bible, and I don't think it it ever talks about them being happy, but filled with joy instead, and being content. ( I could be totally wrong though, let me know if I am...)
Having joy without the Spirit doesn't work. I don't think we can really experience true joy without the Holy Spirit working in us. I think the difference between having joy and being happy, is that happiness is an emotion - a state of mind - that comes and goes. Some days you will be happy, others you won't. With joy, joy through the Spirit that is, we are constantly being filled with that joy, and reminded that we are content with what we have.
Jesus fills us up. He satisfifes. The definition of satisfy is thus:
"Satisfy--To fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, or demands of ; to make content, to put an end to a desire, want, or need ect.."
That is the very definition of what God is to us ; He satisfies us, makes us want for nothing else, puts an end to our selfish desires, makes us complete. Jesus is that and so much more. When God is near, we want nothing more, the world fades away, we die to self, and we are content.
We can't be satisified without contentment, and we can't be content without joy.
John 15:11
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made complete."
With joy,
Moriah
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
I love how this verse says that we will be content with such things, rather than happy. Being content and being happy are two totally different things. When we are content with something, we are satisfied. I looked up the definition of content, and this is what it says :
Content--"Satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else."
I love how it says that when we are content--satisfied--we aren't wanting anything else. Happiness is more of an emotion - joy is an attitude.We are filled more with joy through the Spirit rather than happiness, and that is why we can "consider it pure joy when we go through trials of many kinds."
Also, note the fruits of the Spirit:
Galatians 5:22
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
See? It says nothing about being happy, but having joy. You look at storeis of people in the Bible, and I don't think it it ever talks about them being happy, but filled with joy instead, and being content. ( I could be totally wrong though, let me know if I am...)
Having joy without the Spirit doesn't work. I don't think we can really experience true joy without the Holy Spirit working in us. I think the difference between having joy and being happy, is that happiness is an emotion - a state of mind - that comes and goes. Some days you will be happy, others you won't. With joy, joy through the Spirit that is, we are constantly being filled with that joy, and reminded that we are content with what we have.
Jesus fills us up. He satisfifes. The definition of satisfy is thus:
"Satisfy--To fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, or demands of ; to make content, to put an end to a desire, want, or need ect.."
That is the very definition of what God is to us ; He satisfies us, makes us want for nothing else, puts an end to our selfish desires, makes us complete. Jesus is that and so much more. When God is near, we want nothing more, the world fades away, we die to self, and we are content.
We can't be satisified without contentment, and we can't be content without joy.
John 15:11
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made complete."
With joy,
Moriah
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Screw the worlds standards!
It seems like every where we go now, we are constantly being surrounded with someone or something screaming at us on how we should be beautiful.
So let me ask a question:
What is beauty?
If beauty is a size 0 jeans, stick thin and blonde blue eyed supermodel, then the truth is most of us don't fit into that group.
So does that make us ugly?
Look around you. How many people do you see that are perfect? You can go up to the person you consider to have the most perfect figure, and I bet you that they will still find something about themselves they don't like and want to change. What does that tell you?
Sadly enough however, many women and young girls are falling into the lie that if they are beautiful, blonde, and stick thin, they will be more liked. They believe that if they become beautiful in the world's eyes, the will be perfect.
THIS IS A LIE!!!!!!
Think about how much time you spend in the morning getting ready. Think about how long you spend in front of the mirror scrutinizing every little thing about you. All of that is focused on you, and lies you are believing. Selfishness leads to bondage ladies.
The more time you spend focused on what you want to change, that's all you begin to think about. You become enslaved to it. Now your every thought is what am I going to eat? What do I wear to school tomorrow? How many calories are in this cookie? Should I lose ten pounds to be liked by the other girls at school? Why don't I look like her?
And pretty soon, before you know it, you become a slave to those thoughts, which in turn lead to actions that you will find yourself a prisoner to. A simple diet or calorie cut is the birthing point for eating disorders to form. "Oh this is easy" you tell yourself. "I'm not hurting anything, it's just a simple diet." But the more time you agonize about it, the more and more you cut out of your diet, the quicker you fall into eating disorders.
And sister, if you play with the fire, you're gonna get burned.
Even after four years on anorexia, I still didn't look the way I wanted to. Sure, I changed, yes I lost a lot of weight, but when it came down to it, I was still the same person. Who I was inside hadn't changed. You can only do so much before you realize that even after years of starving yourself, nothing you do anymore will change what you want to be changed. When it comes down to it, sure you want to change the way you look, but you are also hoping that by doing that you will change who you are inside too. One of the reasons more and more women are falling into this bondage, is because they hear that little voice in the back of their head. The voice that tells them that if they could just lose that weight, just fit into that dress size, just become like that supermodel, then they will have everything in life.
Again, that is a lie; a lie from the father of lies.
Eating disorders are more than just a battle of beauty, but it's a whole psychological
battle too. It all comes down to what you are believing about yourself. If you look in the mirror and tell yourself you're fat, you're gonna believe that. It becomes this tape that replays always in your head, and before you know it you are locked in this cage of bondage, fear, and self-loathing, and it seems like there is no way out.
But there is a way out.
Think about what 1 Peter says about your beauty:
"It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from the inside you--the beauty of a gentle and quite spirit. That beauty will never disappear, and it is worth very much to God. It was the same with the holy women who lived long ago and followed God. They made themselves beautiful in that way."
Screw the world's standards
This is one of my most favorite verses of all time. :]
"Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to see what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."
Another version says it in a cool way too :
"Don't change yourselves to be like the people of this world. But be changed inside yourselves with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know and things are good and pleasing to God and what things are perfect."
Like it says in Romans 12, let God transform you inside out, let Him change the way you think; about yourself, about your beauty. Focus on letting him transform you into the beautiful woman he wants you to be, stop conforming to the worlds standards. Do not conform any longer, cuz what this world has to offer will only fade away, but the spirt of who we are will never fade. Let your beauty be something of your heart and mind, not they way you should look from the mall or supermodels.
By saying you are ugly, or wishing you could change, you're saying you don't like the way you were made, don't like how you were created. That's like slapping God in the face! He made you just the way he wanted you, he spent time and effort into creating this wonderful piece of art. He is the master Creator! You would never go up to a painter and tell him that his painting is ugly and he should change it. But that is EXACTLY what we are doing when we look in the mirror and don't like what we see and want to change it. Four years of anorexia did change my body, but inside I was still broken and searching. It's who you are INSIDE that God sees more than anyone else, and he sees it all and still loves you. He sees the deepest part of you, everything you want to hide, and he still looks at you and calls you he beautiful princess. How many people do you know that would still do that?
Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
It's time we stop believing the lies the world tells us about our beauty. A size 0 is not everything in life ladies. It's time we step out of this bondage, out of the fear, and into the living hope Christ has for us. Jesus loves you no matter what you look like, no matter what you have done, no matter what has been done to you. He loves you and created something amazingly beautiful.
Please please please do not think you are a mistake!! You have a plan and purpose in life, you are not a random chance of fate. Step into freedom.
It's time for us to be free.
So let me ask a question:
What is beauty?
If beauty is a size 0 jeans, stick thin and blonde blue eyed supermodel, then the truth is most of us don't fit into that group.
So does that make us ugly?
Look around you. How many people do you see that are perfect? You can go up to the person you consider to have the most perfect figure, and I bet you that they will still find something about themselves they don't like and want to change. What does that tell you?
Sadly enough however, many women and young girls are falling into the lie that if they are beautiful, blonde, and stick thin, they will be more liked. They believe that if they become beautiful in the world's eyes, the will be perfect.
THIS IS A LIE!!!!!!
Think about how much time you spend in the morning getting ready. Think about how long you spend in front of the mirror scrutinizing every little thing about you. All of that is focused on you, and lies you are believing. Selfishness leads to bondage ladies.
The more time you spend focused on what you want to change, that's all you begin to think about. You become enslaved to it. Now your every thought is what am I going to eat? What do I wear to school tomorrow? How many calories are in this cookie? Should I lose ten pounds to be liked by the other girls at school? Why don't I look like her?
And pretty soon, before you know it, you become a slave to those thoughts, which in turn lead to actions that you will find yourself a prisoner to. A simple diet or calorie cut is the birthing point for eating disorders to form. "Oh this is easy" you tell yourself. "I'm not hurting anything, it's just a simple diet." But the more time you agonize about it, the more and more you cut out of your diet, the quicker you fall into eating disorders.
And sister, if you play with the fire, you're gonna get burned.
Even after four years on anorexia, I still didn't look the way I wanted to. Sure, I changed, yes I lost a lot of weight, but when it came down to it, I was still the same person. Who I was inside hadn't changed. You can only do so much before you realize that even after years of starving yourself, nothing you do anymore will change what you want to be changed. When it comes down to it, sure you want to change the way you look, but you are also hoping that by doing that you will change who you are inside too. One of the reasons more and more women are falling into this bondage, is because they hear that little voice in the back of their head. The voice that tells them that if they could just lose that weight, just fit into that dress size, just become like that supermodel, then they will have everything in life.
Again, that is a lie; a lie from the father of lies.
Eating disorders are more than just a battle of beauty, but it's a whole psychological
battle too. It all comes down to what you are believing about yourself. If you look in the mirror and tell yourself you're fat, you're gonna believe that. It becomes this tape that replays always in your head, and before you know it you are locked in this cage of bondage, fear, and self-loathing, and it seems like there is no way out.
But there is a way out.
Think about what 1 Peter says about your beauty:
"It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from the inside you--the beauty of a gentle and quite spirit. That beauty will never disappear, and it is worth very much to God. It was the same with the holy women who lived long ago and followed God. They made themselves beautiful in that way."
Screw the world's standards
This is one of my most favorite verses of all time. :]
"Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to see what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."
Another version says it in a cool way too :
"Don't change yourselves to be like the people of this world. But be changed inside yourselves with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know and things are good and pleasing to God and what things are perfect."
Like it says in Romans 12, let God transform you inside out, let Him change the way you think; about yourself, about your beauty. Focus on letting him transform you into the beautiful woman he wants you to be, stop conforming to the worlds standards. Do not conform any longer, cuz what this world has to offer will only fade away, but the spirt of who we are will never fade. Let your beauty be something of your heart and mind, not they way you should look from the mall or supermodels.
By saying you are ugly, or wishing you could change, you're saying you don't like the way you were made, don't like how you were created. That's like slapping God in the face! He made you just the way he wanted you, he spent time and effort into creating this wonderful piece of art. He is the master Creator! You would never go up to a painter and tell him that his painting is ugly and he should change it. But that is EXACTLY what we are doing when we look in the mirror and don't like what we see and want to change it. Four years of anorexia did change my body, but inside I was still broken and searching. It's who you are INSIDE that God sees more than anyone else, and he sees it all and still loves you. He sees the deepest part of you, everything you want to hide, and he still looks at you and calls you he beautiful princess. How many people do you know that would still do that?
Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
It's time we stop believing the lies the world tells us about our beauty. A size 0 is not everything in life ladies. It's time we step out of this bondage, out of the fear, and into the living hope Christ has for us. Jesus loves you no matter what you look like, no matter what you have done, no matter what has been done to you. He loves you and created something amazingly beautiful.
Please please please do not think you are a mistake!! You have a plan and purpose in life, you are not a random chance of fate. Step into freedom.
It's time for us to be free.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Numb
I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Isaiah 53
Behold the man upon the cross
My sin is what nailed Him there
Out of love He gave His life for me
He was crushed for my transgressions
Dear God, I've turned so far away
The wider path I've chosen
But yet I come because I know
You can fix what has been broken
I like a sheep have gone astray
I've turned the wrong direction
But by the blood in Jesus' name
There is power in resurrection
I have nothing to bring to You
My heart is filled with sorrow
But I hear the voice of Jesus say:
'It is freedom that I offer'
I see the nail wounds in your hands;
Thy crown of thorns
Thy injuries
But whole in Jesus I will stand
For You've put to death my suffering
In every problem I should face,
In every tribulation
The truth of Christ I'll cling onto;
I will never be forsaken
My Jesus gave Himself for me
He shed His own blood willingly
The least of things, this I can do
Leave everything to follow Thee.
My sin is what nailed Him there
Out of love He gave His life for me
He was crushed for my transgressions
Dear God, I've turned so far away
The wider path I've chosen
But yet I come because I know
You can fix what has been broken
I like a sheep have gone astray
I've turned the wrong direction
But by the blood in Jesus' name
There is power in resurrection
I have nothing to bring to You
My heart is filled with sorrow
But I hear the voice of Jesus say:
'It is freedom that I offer'
I see the nail wounds in your hands;
Thy crown of thorns
Thy injuries
But whole in Jesus I will stand
For You've put to death my suffering
In every problem I should face,
In every tribulation
The truth of Christ I'll cling onto;
I will never be forsaken
My Jesus gave Himself for me
He shed His own blood willingly
The least of things, this I can do
Leave everything to follow Thee.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Grief
I measure every grief I meet
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.
I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.
I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they chose between,
They would not rather die.
I wonder if when years have piled--
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;
Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.
The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,--
Death is but one and comes but once,
And only nails the eyes.
There's grief of want, and grief of cold,--
A sort they call ''despair'',
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.
And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly, yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,
To note the fashions of the cross,
Of those that stand alone,
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.
I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.
I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they chose between,
They would not rather die.
I wonder if when years have piled--
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;
Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.
The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,--
Death is but one and comes but once,
And only nails the eyes.
There's grief of want, and grief of cold,--
A sort they call ''despair'',
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.
And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly, yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,
To note the fashions of the cross,
Of those that stand alone,
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
I have some great friends :)
I really do. So what if they are complete Dorks? They are awesome!!!! I'm not sure what I would do without them....well first off, I would probably be out of a job, seeing as how I am employed by one of them. And I most likely wouldn't be in any movies and that would be sad.
I also wouldn't have all of the inside info of what really goes on at TCBC.
And I most definitely would not be having supper cool birthday parties.
I would be without some pretty sweet music.
And I wouldn't be a Dork. ;{
I would have no one to send me encouraging emails.
I also wouldn't have any one to carry me up hills.
There would be no one to nag about not getting things done.
And Andrew wouldn't have his babe.
Wow, life looks pretty scary without these two great friends. I think I should keep 'em around. :)
Jeremy and Andrew, you guys rock. :) I am so glad we are friends, and so grateful for all that we met. I really don't know what I would do with out you two. (Well, I already went over this.....just look at my list! See how sad it is?)
Thanks for your friendship, employment, and encouragement. :) You are amazing.
Love,
M
I also wouldn't have all of the inside info of what really goes on at TCBC.
And I most definitely would not be having supper cool birthday parties.
I would be without some pretty sweet music.
And I wouldn't be a Dork. ;{
I would have no one to send me encouraging emails.
I also wouldn't have any one to carry me up hills.
There would be no one to nag about not getting things done.
And Andrew wouldn't have his babe.
Wow, life looks pretty scary without these two great friends. I think I should keep 'em around. :)
Jeremy and Andrew, you guys rock. :) I am so glad we are friends, and so grateful for all that we met. I really don't know what I would do with out you two. (Well, I already went over this.....just look at my list! See how sad it is?)
Thanks for your friendship, employment, and encouragement. :) You are amazing.
Love,
M
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Surrender
My hands hold safly to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now You're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show You?
Can't You let me go?
Surrender, surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
You say You have a plan for me
And that You want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What You can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?
Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
Surrender
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now You're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show You?
Can't You let me go?
Surrender, surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
You say You have a plan for me
And that You want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What You can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?
Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't You see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
Surrender
AAARRGGGHHH!!!!
I'M SO ANGRY!!! I'm just about pissed off at everything and everyone right about now. The world is screwed, I'm screwed, everyone is screwed.
I hate every single one of those girls at ballet, I swear they are the dumbest people I have ever met. I couldn't care less if they all dropped dead. Such idiots!!!!!!
And why? Why does everything always happen to me? How is this fair? ITS NOT!!!!!!! ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!
Why do I spend my whole life wishing, wanting, waiting to go to Russia, and the the chance comes, and I can't go? Why do friends of mine get to go when they don't even want to, don't speak the language, and don't even care?! ITS NOT F@#%^ FAIR!!!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!!
Why can I never be the perfect ballerina that I have always dreamed of? How is it fair that I spend my whole life working to be a professional dancer, then everything gets cut away? Why can't I dance like Gillian Murphy? Yuka Ino? Julie Kent? Allison Roper? WHY???? Why don't I have the perfect feet, perfect turnout, perfect body? ITS NOT MY F@*%ING FAULT I'M NOT BUILT LIKE THE IDEAL BALLERINA!!!!! BUT WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT BODY? HER FEET? WHHHYYYY?!?!?!?!
Why do I have to give up everything I have ever worked for? All I have ever wanted was to be a prima ballerina. That's all I have ever known, all I have worked for, everything I want to become. For me to throw that all away right now would be waste, right? SO why do I need to give it up to You?? I'm not letting go. Don't You see how tightly my hands are wrapped around this? Do You not see my dreams? My goals? My ambitions? Do You not see how much I want this? Do You not see how hard this is? Do You not see these tears? This anger? This hurt? Do You not see how broken I am? Do You even care??
I am so fed up with everything! To hell with it all.
Nothing ever goes right. All I want right now is for something to go right.
And you wanna know a secret? All I want is to be hugged. That's it. I don't care about anything else, I just long for someone to hold onto me, letting me cry on their shoulder, telling me things will be okay. I know that sounds childish, but I just want someone to hold me.
*Sigh*
Good luck with that ever happening.
I hate every single one of those girls at ballet, I swear they are the dumbest people I have ever met. I couldn't care less if they all dropped dead. Such idiots!!!!!!
And why? Why does everything always happen to me? How is this fair? ITS NOT!!!!!!! ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!
Why do I spend my whole life wishing, wanting, waiting to go to Russia, and the the chance comes, and I can't go? Why do friends of mine get to go when they don't even want to, don't speak the language, and don't even care?! ITS NOT F@#%^ FAIR!!!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!! AAARRGGGHHH!!!!
Why can I never be the perfect ballerina that I have always dreamed of? How is it fair that I spend my whole life working to be a professional dancer, then everything gets cut away? Why can't I dance like Gillian Murphy? Yuka Ino? Julie Kent? Allison Roper? WHY???? Why don't I have the perfect feet, perfect turnout, perfect body? ITS NOT MY F@*%ING FAULT I'M NOT BUILT LIKE THE IDEAL BALLERINA!!!!! BUT WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT BODY? HER FEET? WHHHYYYY?!?!?!?!
Why do I have to give up everything I have ever worked for? All I have ever wanted was to be a prima ballerina. That's all I have ever known, all I have worked for, everything I want to become. For me to throw that all away right now would be waste, right? SO why do I need to give it up to You?? I'm not letting go. Don't You see how tightly my hands are wrapped around this? Do You not see my dreams? My goals? My ambitions? Do You not see how much I want this? Do You not see how hard this is? Do You not see these tears? This anger? This hurt? Do You not see how broken I am? Do You even care??
I am so fed up with everything! To hell with it all.
Nothing ever goes right. All I want right now is for something to go right.
And you wanna know a secret? All I want is to be hugged. That's it. I don't care about anything else, I just long for someone to hold onto me, letting me cry on their shoulder, telling me things will be okay. I know that sounds childish, but I just want someone to hold me.
*Sigh*
Good luck with that ever happening.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Are you there?
CUZ I'M THERE!!!! You have no idea how joyfull I am right now about so many things, and you may not even understand them all, but it makes me really happy to think about. :) I am there......my place in heaven is already secured, I don't need to worry about anything because I know that the Prince of Peace has my life planned out for me, and has something good planned for my life, I don't need to take controll anymore, I need only to be still. I was teaching on this verse about a month ago for a youth group that asked me to speak there, and this is the out line of what I spoke on. I also gave my testimony, but that's another blog. ;p
Exodus 14:13
"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring to you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
So, what does this mean, and why is it making me so excited? Well, let me break down the verse, and hopefully you will understand like I do. :)
"Do not be afraid."
This is key. God is telling us not to be afraid, because He already knows what is going to happen. And if the King of Kings already knows what is going to happen, why do we always need to be afraid all the time? Why can't we just trust that God will get us through? Do not be afraid. I see this all the time in the Bible, God telling His people to not be afraid, and the reason I think that we keep seeing it, is that God has to constantly remind us to not be afraid. We by nature get afraid all the time, but if we know that Christ is on our side, and will win this battle for us, why do we need to fear? Do not be afraid.
"Stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will bring to you today."
God will deliver us!!! We don't always have to live afraid, in fear, because we know that the Lord will deliver us, He has promised to help us, to never leave us, and He will bring us deliverance. There is hope no matter where in life you stand. God will rescue you from that place! I have seen how Christ has rescuded me from my broken life, and He will do the same for you. Stand firm!
"The Egyptians you see today, you will never see again."
Let's substitute the word 'Egyptians' for whatever it is in our lives that we are scared us, the thing that freaks us out the most, something that we are afraid of. It could be anything. "The___________you see today you will never see again." Meaning that God will take whatever it is you are afraid of, He will take that and make it gone. He will get rid of it. You will never see it again. Jesus washes us clean.
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
I think that in a culture that encourages us to be bussy all the time, to always have something going on, it's very hard for us to find time to be still. And when we do, that's very awkward. The key word in this verse is 'still.' So many times we ourselves want to fix our problems, we want to fight the battle, we don't want to addmit defeat. But this verse is saying that the Lord will fight for us, if we just back off and let Him fight it for us! The more we try to fight it on our own, the less likely we are of winning that battle. Jesus wants to take this from us, we only need to be still. To quit trying to do it by oursleves, but to let Him fight for us, to shut up and sit down and be still. God has already promissed to fight for us, we need only to be still.
Another verse that makes me think of being still, is Psalm 46:10.
"Be still and know that I am God."
Be still. That dosen't mean spending five minuets reading the Bible before we go to school, it means turn off the iPod, lay down that magazine, get offline, stop watching TV, set the cell phone on sillent, be still. When life is crazy and we are constantly on the go, it is so very hard to hear the small, quiet voice of God talking to us. That's why it says to be still. Then we will know who God is. Once we are still, then He will open up so much for us. Jesus wants to have a deep relationship with you, He wants all of your time, and all of you. Not just five minuets in the morning, not just a little peice of your heart, He wants all of you. Every single bitt. Untill we learn to give Christ our whole heart, He will not begin to start working in us. If we are still holding onto that one thing that we just do not want to give up, we won't really experience the true freedom that Christ offers. Untill we learn to let go, we will still be stuck in the same place, not moving forward, and not moving back.
I AM THERE. And I am so totally excited that I am there! Are you there?
Exodus 14:13
"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring to you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
So, what does this mean, and why is it making me so excited? Well, let me break down the verse, and hopefully you will understand like I do. :)
"Do not be afraid."
This is key. God is telling us not to be afraid, because He already knows what is going to happen. And if the King of Kings already knows what is going to happen, why do we always need to be afraid all the time? Why can't we just trust that God will get us through? Do not be afraid. I see this all the time in the Bible, God telling His people to not be afraid, and the reason I think that we keep seeing it, is that God has to constantly remind us to not be afraid. We by nature get afraid all the time, but if we know that Christ is on our side, and will win this battle for us, why do we need to fear? Do not be afraid.
"Stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will bring to you today."
God will deliver us!!! We don't always have to live afraid, in fear, because we know that the Lord will deliver us, He has promised to help us, to never leave us, and He will bring us deliverance. There is hope no matter where in life you stand. God will rescue you from that place! I have seen how Christ has rescuded me from my broken life, and He will do the same for you. Stand firm!
"The Egyptians you see today, you will never see again."
Let's substitute the word 'Egyptians' for whatever it is in our lives that we are scared us, the thing that freaks us out the most, something that we are afraid of. It could be anything. "The___________you see today you will never see again." Meaning that God will take whatever it is you are afraid of, He will take that and make it gone. He will get rid of it. You will never see it again. Jesus washes us clean.
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
I think that in a culture that encourages us to be bussy all the time, to always have something going on, it's very hard for us to find time to be still. And when we do, that's very awkward. The key word in this verse is 'still.' So many times we ourselves want to fix our problems, we want to fight the battle, we don't want to addmit defeat. But this verse is saying that the Lord will fight for us, if we just back off and let Him fight it for us! The more we try to fight it on our own, the less likely we are of winning that battle. Jesus wants to take this from us, we only need to be still. To quit trying to do it by oursleves, but to let Him fight for us, to shut up and sit down and be still. God has already promissed to fight for us, we need only to be still.
Another verse that makes me think of being still, is Psalm 46:10.
"Be still and know that I am God."
Be still. That dosen't mean spending five minuets reading the Bible before we go to school, it means turn off the iPod, lay down that magazine, get offline, stop watching TV, set the cell phone on sillent, be still. When life is crazy and we are constantly on the go, it is so very hard to hear the small, quiet voice of God talking to us. That's why it says to be still. Then we will know who God is. Once we are still, then He will open up so much for us. Jesus wants to have a deep relationship with you, He wants all of your time, and all of you. Not just five minuets in the morning, not just a little peice of your heart, He wants all of you. Every single bitt. Untill we learn to give Christ our whole heart, He will not begin to start working in us. If we are still holding onto that one thing that we just do not want to give up, we won't really experience the true freedom that Christ offers. Untill we learn to let go, we will still be stuck in the same place, not moving forward, and not moving back.
I AM THERE. And I am so totally excited that I am there! Are you there?
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